Almost three decades. That's how long I've been fortunate enough to (still) be employed by the same company right out of high school – which is almost unheard of in today's working culture, where companies are downsizing or workers are leaving their jobs to look for better opportunities.
Over the years, I've come to know that of the many people who arrive in our lives, some are destined to stay, and some, we eventually find, are meant to leave. Some pass through, leaving only a scant memory, while there are others we may not remember at all.
But then there are those fellow travelers who fulfill their pre-fated time with us and leave behind really big impressions in their wake—and who ultimately influence the people we eventually become, the quality of our lenses in how we see others, and how we end up ripple-affecting the chemistry of the world around us.
Early in my career, around Year 10, I had a boss who did all this for me.
When Dennis Christopher came on board in the late 90s, most of my co-workers had already worked with him at another company location. They practically broke out in dance when he was hired as the new plant manager of our Newtown, CT, distribution center.
It was my first time connecting journeys with him, though, and while I knew next to nothing about this man that everyone was raving about, I knew it was good fortune in the making when, after a few months of his arrival, I found myself working for him.
Because it didn't take long for me to see that Dennis is a man of high integrity.
From the start, he taught us to focus on "Doing the Right Thing" vs. "Doing Things Right." He wasn't beneath asking for help, ditching his ideas for a better one from someone else, or admitting when he didn't know the answer or was wrong.
But above all, here are the 7 Most Inspiring Things he taught my young, impressionable self:
1. GIVE PEOPLE RESPECT BEFORE THEY EARN IT.
One afternoon, I sat across from Dennis in his office. After sharing a story with me, he stretched his arms wide open, reaching for the sides of his desk.
"This is how much respect I give to people when I meet them," he told me. "If they do something to lose my respect, I shorten it." He narrowed the distance between his hands so that his elbows were bent. "If they do something else, I lessen it even more." His palms were now facing each other.
"People should have your respect right away. Don't make them work for it. It's only when they abuse it that you take it away."
I learned to expect the best from everyone.
2. TREAT EVERYONE THE SAME WAY, FROM THE JANITOR TO THE CEO.
This was something Dennis said often. "Treat everyone the same way, from the janitor to the CEO." And he really walked the talk, showing up to everyone in the same authentic way.
His open-door policy and approachability inspired many of us to seek his advice and mentorship. Even though he was the respected head of our facility, the man we saw, joked with, and worked for every day always felt like "one of us." There was no separation between us.
I learned to show up to others in ways I want to be treated myself.
3. SURROUND YOURSELF WITH GOOD PEOPLE.
"A manager is only as good as the team he has working for him," he'd often say.
Anyone who knew Dennis knew that he completely valued his people. All of them, even those who didn't work directly for him. He had a sharp antenna for determining people's skills and interests and then finding ways to leverage them to benefit both the business and the person's personal growth. He was fantastic at encouraging others to grow their talents.
In fact, that's how I earned my HTML certification (this was in the late 90s, back when there was a wave of folks still learning this): He said the company would pay for my six-month course if I made our business unit its first website. He always found inventive ways to create win-wins and model teachability.
Dennis not only encouraged us to invest in ourselves but when we accomplished something, he made sure we got the credit for it. It made him proud to see us do well as if we were one of his kids.
I learned that no one person is smarter than the combination of all us together, and that we need each other to be successful.
4. MAKE PEOPLE FEEL GOOD ABOUT THEMSELVES.
Dennis' ability to make connections with others is just out of this world. He remembered personal tidbits about everyone—their favorite sports teams, that they'd just become new grandparents, or even if they had a shared love of doo-wop music. The best part was that he was sincerely interested in them, and people sensed that.
I learned that stepping outside myself and focusing on others can create meaningful connections and relationships.
5. IT'S BETTER TO ASK FOR FORGIVENESS THAN PERMISSION.
Dennis was the first person in my life to encourage me to make mistakes. He allowed me permission to get creative, trust myself, and do things in new ways. He wanted me to be courageous and to try new things even when there was no guarantee of success.
Almost twenty years ago, when corporate worlds were rigid, and you dared not challenge the rules, I saw Dennis respectfully breaking outdated protocols and fuddy-duddy mindsets in his quest to find the best solutions.
I learned to trust my judgment and allow myself to wander off the beaten path.
6. GET PERSONAL.
Instead of taking our eight-person staff out for a holiday dinner at a local restaurant (which was somewhat of a tradition at the time), Dennis and his family welcomed all of us over to his house a few miles down the road for a delicious home-cooked Italian meal complete with wine and dessert. He opened his home to his team, where we shared many laughs over many hours.
Employees across the building knew his kids' names, his love of coaching softball, and his affection for pasta, and he, too, made time in between business to know about all of us. It wasn't long before showing up to work felt like hanging out with family.
I learned the importance of inclusion and that when you invite others into your personal world, they become more loyal and invested in you, too.
7. STAY HUMBLE.
When Dennis announced his retirement, I jumped into planning an all-out retirement party for him at a beautiful catering hall a few towns over. Recruiting helpers was amazingly easy because everyone from every corner of our warehouse and front offices adored Dennis and wanted to be a part of it—so much, in fact, that employees actually paid to attend so that we could cover costs.
There were nearly 100 people who showed up on that December night in 2005, and there's no doubt in my mind that Dennis gave respect, treated equally, encouraged skills, taught teamwork, inspired creativity, and got personal with each and every one of them at one point in time over the years.
And yet, when Dennis arrived at the party that night with his family amidst much fanfare, he brushed it off in his usual unassuming style. To him, he was just an ordinary working guy attending a fun night out with his favorite bunch of people by his side.
I learned that living a life of integrity and grace lifts up your soul and, by example, the souls of others you encounter along your path.
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